Love is never blind
by symmetrypop
Summary: An Unexpected accident leaves Stiles without certain memories. Memories of everything that has happened since the beginning of Sophomore year. Including a brooding man with stubble that he can't get out of his mind. As he struggles to adapt to this sudden change, Derek decides it's best to stay away. But can the worried wolf stay away forever?
1. Chapter 1

Stiles knew this story, a bit too well. The story where all it took was one day, twenty-four hours, to make everything to fall apart. Everything Stiles had worked so hard to build up, to make right, to make okay. After everything that had happened in the past couple years, all the loss, all the pain and agony. Faking smiles and laughs… even faking that he loved someone. He really just wanted to feel right again, feel normal. But once the nightmares started up again, the ones that woke him up in screaming in fear, trying to kick and fight free of a force that wasn't really there. He knew that everything he worked for, was going to fall.

Of course his father came running in gun pointed, ready to kick someone's ass, only to see that it was his nightmares again. Stiles felt the arms wrap around him but his body continued to shake through the fear. It had been months since his last nightmare; both of them truly thinking they were gone again.

It took hours before Stiles was calm enough to let his dad go back to bed, he had to work and Stiles had school. But sleep for him never came, he couldn't sleep…. His dream was already taunting him, playing back in his head over and over again.

Scott knew something was up, he knew his friend all to well to think other wise. But Stiles brushed it off, blamed it on lack of sleep, not a lie but not the full truth. The school day was agonizingly slow. Each period, each teacher seemed to get louder and more annoying that by the time he was in couch's class he had to get out, he needed to leave. His head pounded, his stomach swirled and bubbled. He ignored his teacher's yells for his to sit back down and his best friends worried glances. He didn't care he needed a bathroom.

Every step sent pain through his body, every sound sent spikes to his head. It seemed like an hour had passed before his head was resting against a stall, his body slumped. He couldn't even clearly remember how he had gotten there.

It only took a shift to try and stand to send his stomach acid retching from his mouth and into the white porcelain toilet. Shivers racking through his body over and over, as less and less came out. Once it was over he felt a bit better. Good enough to get him self home at least. He stood up and walked out after flushing the toilet and cleaning himself up a bit.

He didn't even ask to leave he just walked out. He fished his keys out of his pocket and leaned against his jeep. He looked down trying to focus on the keyhole, trying to get himself in, but his hands were shaking so bad. Then he felt hands on his and a deep, not so happy voice called out behind him. Derek… of course if was Derek, he knew Scott must have sent him a message or something.

"I am just trying to get myself home… okay? I don't need some lecture by some wolf with super healing powers, that probably never gets sick" Stiles spoke and pulled his hand back and twisted his head up to look at the man next to him. Tall, dark, handsome… and everything else those cliché books said about sexy men. Stiles heard the angry grumble and leaned against his jeep. "What do you want Derek?" He asked., not really wanting to stay here, he wanted to go home.

"You look like shit Stiles… Are you okay?" Derek asked, voice normal, not showing much emotion at all. He leaned against the jeep as well. A laugh came from Stiles and he shook his head.

"Everyone keeps asking that. I am fine. I just had a rough time sleeping last night. I'm going home now. I'll be okay. I run with wolves, I'm strong" He tried to be his normal self, he smiled and nodded his head, acting like he was cool. Which caused a small smiled tug at Derek's lips. "You know it to! I'm pretty awesome" playing it cool…it was the only way to get away from this quicker. Stiles heart was beating pretty damn fast.

"Yeah so strong Stiles… you really are" Derek shook his head and leaned in a bit "Don't lie to me, I can help you home.. if you need it. Its fine" He spoke and Stiles just shook his head and looked back to the key hole, sliding his key in the first try.

"See I'm fine. If you are so worried then when Scott gets out of school, which is in like two hours then get him and come check on me." Stiles started his jeep and closed the door "I'll most likely be sleeping though…"

Derek just watched him, not sure if he should really be letting him drive. But he really did think that Stiles seems just right in his mind enough to be okay. "Right… I will do that" He nodded and turned and walked off. Feeling a bit guilty and was deciding on if he should just follow Stiles home or not, just to be sure. In the end he decided against it and moved along to wait for Scott.

On the dive home Stiles started to feel twenty times worse. He groaned and swerved on the road a bit. He shook his head; he was so close to being home, so close to his bed. Then he thought that it would be nice to hang out with Derek and Scott for a bit.

That was his last thought before things went back.

When Stiles woke up there was pain all over his body, he could barely even move. He could smell smoke and that shook him up enough to realize he was upside down in his jeep. He groaned and started to panic. He clicked the release button on his belt over and over again until it finally dropped him, giving another blow to his head. He whimpered out in pain as he pulled himself free from the broken window. He was huffing in pain, his gaze blurry as he looked around. He wasn't even sure where the hell he was. Nothing was familiar. Did he drive the wring damn way home or something?

The warmth of his blood seeping through his shirt felt oddly relaxing from the bite of the cold fall air. He couldn't move anymore, wither too weak or something was really broken. His eyes started to flutter closed when he finally heard sirens and saw two faces hovering over his.

Derek watched as the ambulance guys took him away. The anger he felt and himself for not following Stiles, for letting him ago. He stood up and walked over to Scott, anger and pain clear on his face "Why did you call them? I could have helped Scott!" He shouted and Scott glared at him and walked closer.

"Do what? Bite him? You already took some of his pain away Derek. There was nothing you could have done" Scott yelled at him "if you just went with him… Or hell even just followed him you could have stopped it! Why the hell did you wait for me?" He asked, chest heaving, tears still springing from his eyes, watching the ambulance pull away.

Derek pushed and his chest and shook his head "You think that I haven't already thought of that?" He growled and turned around and walked over to the turned over jeep and laid his hand on the crunched metal. He felt sick, he needed to go see Stiles. He needed to know that he was okay. "We need to call his dad"

Scott's faces falling more at that and sighed pulling out his phone, seeing that he already had some missed calls. "Looks like he already knows… shit" He pressed the re call button and held the phone to his ear. The worried voice of Stiles father was loud and made him pulled the phone back for just a bit. "I don't know. I don't… He got up in the middle of class and just…." Scott was cut off and his face whitened "He did? Was the nightmare really that bad?" He sighed and held the phone closer to his ear "He's in the hospital now yeah… Derek and I are on our way" He hung up the phone and walked over to Derek.

Derek looked over to him and took in a breath and set Stiles car right and stepped back. "Let's go" He spoke and ran back to his car on the other side of the street. Scott following behind him, both of their minds racing with wonder of what was wrong with Stiles, and just hoping he was okay.

There was no such thing as walking when they got there. Being wolves they easily avoided hitting anyone. Scott of course already knew which room Stiles was in, thanks to his mom phone call. Mrs. McCall was waiting outside for them with a soft smile. It was more for them to calm down and not worry too much.

"Mom! Mom! Where's Stiles? Is he okay?" Panic clear in Scotts voice as tears started to fall from his eyes again. His mom just smiled some more and pulled her son in for a tight hug and rocked him.

"He's okay. He has yet to wake up, but no signs of a concussion, just bruised pretty badly…and he has a broken arm, a good amount of cuts from glass. But he's okay" Mrs. Mcall told him, but looked to Derek who was pretty obviously trying to hold himself together. "Go a head inside guys. " she spoke and patted her sons back and followed them in.  
Derek was the first in. Seeing Stiles in the hospital bed was something he never wanted to see. But there he was, bruises covering his mole speckled skin, his chest moving, breathing normally. Derek pulled up a chair next to the bed and didn't care how much any of his feelings showed. He grabbed the unmoving hand and rested his forehead on it, wishing to take more pain away from the unmoving man in the bed.

Scott watched him and looked to his mother and took in a shaky breath. "I need to go find Stiles father. I need to make sure he's okay too. Stiles would kill me if I didn't" He watched his mother nodded and kiss his cheek and he pulled himself away from her and looked back to Derek "Keep an eye on him" Scott said before removing himself from the room, followed by him mom.

Derek was thankful for the chance to be alone with Stiles. He finally let the couple tears holding in his eyes drop. "Dammit you little idiot. You said you were fine. If I find out you lied to me…and drove home not feeling good. I will kill you" He spoke and closed his eyes, holding his hand tighter. "And if someone did a hit a run, I will track them down and kill them" He growled and really just wanted to hear a response from the younger male, but when nothing came he let a couple more tears fall until he feel asleep.

Stiles woke up in a panic, not too sure where he was. For a moment he feared that he'd slept walk somewhere horrible. It took a moment but he was able to realize he was in the hospital judging by the white sheets and walls, though what really gave it away was the heart monitor. He shifted a bit before sitting up. His hand felt heavy and he glanced down to find it wrapped in the slender fingers of an unfamiliar man who was currently hunched over, sleeping in one of the uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs. Confusion washed over his face. Who was this man? Stiles couldn't help but find the man attractive the longer he stared at him and didn't at all mind the hand holding, but he wasn't sure why.

-

So he sat there, watching the sleeping male… Well, sleep. It was quite calming for him, oddly enough. So when the stubbled man shifted away and sat up with a groan, Stiles quickly moved his eyes to pretend he was just watching the T.V this entire time.

Derek looked over to him and let out a sigh filled with conflicting emotions. "You're awake? Stiles, are you okay?" His first instinct was to make sure the teenager was completely fine. After that he planned on delivering a lecture about stupid ass thinking and the consequences that usually came with poor choices like driving home while that sick.

"Uh… Well I hurt but I'm breathing so I guess I'm fine," Stiles answered and watched relief wash over the mystery man's face. "You obviously know me… But I don't know you." He added and that relieved face went away, replaced with a panicked expression. Derek stood up abruptly and looked to him.

"Please tell me this is one of your misguided attempts at humor." Stiles' blank expression confirmed that it wasn't true. "God damn it, do you seriously have memory loss? No. This can't be fucking happening." He growled and held his head, his anger encouraging his change. He quickly removed himself from the room and stumbled into the bathroom. He stared into the mirror for several moments, watching as his eyes faded from red back to blue and his teeth retracted back into his gums. He wasn't sure why Stiles' not knowing who he was made him so emotional, but it did. He pulled his phone out from the pocket of his leather jacket to call Scott. They needed to see just how bad Stiles' memory loss was.

When Stiles watched the unfamiliar man walk out to meet with his best friend and father, he knew something was wrong even before the worried glances were thrown his way. His father was the first one to rush up to him, asking way too many questions at once.

"Stiles!" Sheriff Stilinski's worried voice nearly cracked as he sat in the chair Derek had vacated moments before. "How do you feel? Why didn't you tell me you were sick? Why didn't you call me?" He hadn't meant to overwhelm his son with a dozen questions but worry pushed them from his lips.

Stiles shook his head. "Dad, I'm fine. Just sore." He glanced back to where Scott and the stranger were arguing. Why did that seem like such a familiar sight to see? He was certain he'd never seen the stern and grumpy looking man before and yet… He really was pretty familiar and Stiles couldn't help but feel like he knew him. Scott obviously knew him from what he could see. This was starting to get frustrating.

His dad nodded, slightly relieved. But still, Derek had said Stiles didn't remember some things… "Stiles. Can you tell me what happened?" Of course, the sheriff already knew every detail of the car crash but he wanted to judge how far his son's memory loss seemed to go back without worrying him.

Stiles parted his lips as if too speak but remained silent. What had happened? He really had no idea. All he could remember was waking up here in the hospital with a ridiculously attractive stranger holding his hand. "I don't remember much, Dad, honestly." He saw the worry and concern openly displayed on his dad's face and felt something twist in his gut. If his dad was this torn up… "Dad, where's mom? I'm sorry for making you both worry but I'm fine. Really." He waved his arms to emphasis his point.

Sheriff Stilinski froze as his son's words registered with him. Oh, God, this couldn't be happening. His heart twisted at the thought of having to inform Stiles that his mother was dead and had been dead for the past three years. "Stiles," he rasped, "how old are you?"

Stiles would be a liar if he said he couldn't notice the look of pain that had flashed in his father's eyes. "Dad. Are /you/ okay? I'm fifteen. Where's mom?" He started to panic, his heart clenching in a familiar feeling that he didn't understand. What was happening? He began panting and gasping for breath, his eyes wide in fear. His father leaped out of the chair and ran passed Scott and the stranger who were both now staring at him; Scott with worry and concern and the stranger with a jumble of undecipherable emotions. He didn't have much time to think because his dad was back, a nurse in tow. He was immediately handed an inhaler. After two or three puffs his breath returned and he collapsed back against the bed, exhausted and confused.

"I think it's best of we leave you alone to rest," the nurse murmured in a motherly voice. Sheriff Stilinski nodded and replied that he'd only stay for a minute. The nurse nodded and left, closing the door behind her. "What the hell was that?" Stiles asked as soon as she was gone.

"Stiles," the Sheriff whispered, gently stroking his son's hair like he had when he was a child. "It was a panic attack. You used to have them all the time after-" He stopped himself and pulled away. "Rest. I'll be back later with Scott and Derek to talk more."

He was about to protest but his dad just turned and walked out, leaving Stiles completely alone in the sickeningly white room. He groaned and let his head slam back down in the pillows, more frustrated than ever. He felt like he was forgetting something. Something really important. He started feeling drowsy and stifled a yawn. Where was his mom? And who was Derek? Why did that name sound so familiar? Those questions floated around in his mind as sleep overtook him. The last thing he saw was red eyes and a stubbled face. Derek…


	2. Chapter 2

It had been heartbreaking for Sheriff Stilinski to leave his son like that but he didn't want to tell him the truth right then and there. No, it would break him. He'd already lived through the pain of losing his mother once and he sure as hell didn't need to do it again. The older man glanced at Scott and Derek who were staring at him with mirrored expectant expressions, asking the same silent question. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "He thinks Claudia is still alive. It's like he's fifteen all over again." His voice broke as he spoke.

Scott look stricken but Derek was confused. "Claudia?" Scott sighed and looked at him. "His mother. She died when he was fifteen. It was really hard on him; he had panic attacks all the time. He wouldn't even to talk to me about it."

Derek fisted his hands, frustration boiling under his skin. He'd failed to protect one of is pack. This was his fault and he couldn't fix it. Could he? A low grow emanated from his throat as his change threatened to overpower him.

Scott, sensing his alpha's change turned to the Sheriff. "Why don't you go get some coffee and think? Stiles is sleeping now, we can't do anything until he wakes up." The man nodded distractedly, walking toward the small cafeteria on the second floor.

Derek was talking in deep breaths, trying to focus on his anger and not the horrible and overwhelming sadness he was feeling. He leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, resting his head on his knees.

Scott took in a deep breath and squatted down next to him. "This is not your fault Derek…Don't blame yourself for this-" He spoke but was cut off.

"You texted me! You told me to watch over him! And to make sure he was okay. He played it off but I knew something was up yet I didn't… I didn't get in there with him and make sure he got his stupid face home!" Derek looked up to him and huffed out. "This is my fault and now he doesn't even remember me!" He shouted and looked away from Scott, standing up. "I'm going to go, okay?" He spoke, looking back at him. "One more thing Scott…if he doesn't remember me, he doesn't remember anything about what we are…I think it would be best if we…left him out of it..."

Scott thought about that. He didn't want to hide this from him. But it would make sense, but he wasn't going to lie to his friend. "No, Derek. As soon as he's okay and out of here, I will tell him and show him! He's our friend. He shouldn't be lied to at this time! What if something happens? Huh? We just hold off and let him get hurt more to hide something that he already knows about?"

"Knew! That he knew about Scott! He doesn't remember!" Derek shouted at him. The urge to shift at growl at the frustrating beta was a hard one to resist.

"I am not hiding this from my friend, Derek!" Scott shouted right back at him and let out an angry huff.

"No Scott, We are hiding this from him. We need to! He has a chance to get out of all this now! To live a normal life," Derek glared at Scott, running a hand through his black hair. "Do you get that? He doesn't have to get caught up in all of this. If he dies it can be from something natural…and not supernatural." He turned around and walked off "Do it Scott… Really think about it…"

Scott watched him leave, taking in a deep, shaky breath before sighing. It was true, it really was, and he couldn't tell Stiles, at least not now. Not for a while. His best friend's head was stuck in the past, not knowing what's up with his body, or why he's having attacks, or where his mother is, and why his father was so shaken up at the mention of his mother.

Scott frowned and pushed his way into the hospital room of his resting friend. His heart monitor beeping was the only thing that made him positive that he was alive. Not even trusting his super hearing for that. He sat on the chair next to the bed and pulled his legs up to his knees, just watching every lift and fall of the others chest.

Scott blamed himself just as much as Derek did, and he was sure Stiles' dad was blaming himself as well. He had noticed that something was up but hadn't follow him out of the class to make sure he was okay like a good friend would have. He was sure the sheriff was blaming himself because Stiles is his son and he should have known something was up. Unknown to Scott, Sheriff Stilinski had known Stiles had been getting sick and starting to sleepwalk again.

The next thing Scott knew, Stiles started screaming. It wasn't just a simple scream; it was one that would play over and over in someone's head like one from the only good scary movie they've ever seen. Scott was already out of his chair and carefully trying to wake Stiles up.

Nurses came rushing in, blaming him for whatever was happening and tried to rush him out. But Scott did not let it happen. "He's my friend! I know what to do!" He shouted and pushed his way back to the front of the nurses and started to run his hand through Stiles hair. "Come on buddy. Wake up." He said softly and kept repeating his actions and his gently murmured words.

Eventually Stiles eyes fluttered open with a soft gasp, he looked around and clutched onto Scott's shirt desperately. "Mom?! Mom!" He shouted out and locked eyes with Scott, taking a moment before he realized the shirt he was clutching belonged to his best friend and not his mother, before letting a breath out. "Crap, Scott…. Sorry. I just really want to see my mom." He laughed it off even though his heart hurt and looked away, wiping his tears.

Scott looked to the nurses, wanting to tell them to fuck off but Stiles was more important. "Yeah…. My mom works here and I miss her." He joked carefully and looked back to him. "What was the dream about, Stiles?" He asked and Stiles froze just thinking before shrugging.

"It left me man… Sorry." Stiles sat up carefully with Scott's help and sighed. "Thirsty…can you hand me my water?" He asked and Scott quickly replied by reaching over and grabbing the little bottle, handing it over to him. He watched as Stiles basically chugged the water down.

"Dude so… Can you tell me why the hell I am laying in a hospital bed and everyone talking about me crashing a Jeep? I can't even drive yet and my dad is planning on buying me a Tonka car like a Honda or something?" He laughed and rolled his eyes. "My mom was talking about getting me that Jeep that's down the street. God that would be awesome… anyways… Me… Hospital bed. Why?" He repeated and then gasped. "Did that guy that was in here… Ugh.. You guys called him Sterek? No... Uh... Derek! Yeah, Derek! Did he hit me when I was on my bike or something?" He asked.

Scott laughed at that. "No Stiles, It's not that. And I will tell you... Or the doctor probably will. But I rather it comes from your father." He nodded and shrugged, trying to act like it was nothing big. "You will know soon enough." He spoke but he almost started crying at the fact that that sentence could mean more than one thing, each being less hopeful then the other. He shifted to look away from his friend, but Stiles stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I've been in a comma, huh? I mean who can get a bit of stubble in one day when you're fifteen, right?" Stiles laughed and rolled his eyes. "You could have just told me that… It's not that bad right? I mean, I'm alive and well!" He said and Scott turned back to him. Stiles watched as a tear fall from his eye. "Oh. Not a comma, was it?" Stiles dropped his hand and covered his face. "Please just tell me Scott! Please!" He begged and heard the door open, revealing his father with a cup of coffee.

"I think that it should be me who tells you, Stiles…" Mr. Stilinski spoke and set his coffee down, grabbing his son's hand to hold tightly within his own. "It's going to be long… and painful okay? I don't want you to get your hopes up that everything is okay, it will only bring you down harder. I just want you to b—" His words were cut off by Stiles shouting at him to just get on with it.

The sheriff took a deep breath and nodded. "Right… Stiles. I'm sorry." He spoke and sat down carefully on the bed, Scott grabbed a hold of Stiles' hand and just held it tightly. Derek (who never actually left because he couldn't stand himself being too far from the injured human.) stood a hallway down, listening to it all.

"You have a case of memory loss, son. It's not as bad as some and we are sure as hell lucky that you did not die." Papa Stilinski spoke and closed his eyes. "You are set back a couple years. You're not fifteen, you are seventeen… Derek is a friend you had… and… and..." He stopped himself and took a deep, shaky breath and let it out before continuing. "And you're mother, she's been dead for two years." He spoke and Stiles let out a chocked sob as tears started to run down his face.

"No!" Stiles screamed and held Scott's hand tighter. "NO! She can't be DEAD… she was just alive yesterday… she can..It cut part of it out, hang on...

"No!" Stiles screamed and held Scott's hand tighter. "NO! She can't be DEAD… she was just alive yesterday… she can't... No! No! No! No! No!" He kept repeating, his chest heaving again with every breath he took. Scott grabbed the inhaler and pressed it to his friend's mouth, forcing Stiles to inhale the medicine.

"It's the reason why you have panic attacks and why you sleep walk." Scott added.

"I sleep walk?! I haven't done that since mom left us for a year…" Stiles frowned.

"That was a long time ago Stiles," Sheriff Stilinski told him and took in another deep breath. "You were in a car accident. You recently started sleep walking again and were pretty sick this morning, I should have stopped you, but you left without a word..." Pain laced his voice, mirroring the pain that now darkened Stiles' caramel colored eyes.

"No," he rasped, just giving up the fight and collapsing back against the bed as silent tears streamed from his eyes. "She can't… How did she die?" He finally let his gaze slide back to Scott and his father. Scott looked exhausted and worried and his dad looked emotional, pained, and much older than he actually was. It hurt Stiles to see him reduced to such a state because of some stupid mistake he'd made.

Sheriff Stilinski was silent for a moment. "Frontotemporal dementia," he finally answered and then continued when he saw the unspoken question on his face. "Frontotemporal dementia is a group of uncommon disorders that affect the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain. She…" His voice caught, making it unable for him to finish what he was going to explain. Stiles already knew that his mother was dead. Why make him suffer more by telling him how she had changed and become someone else? Sheriff Stilinski couldn't do it. Not now.

Stiles, even with two years missing, was still able to tell that speaking about his mother made his dad hurt in ways he was beginning to understand. "Dad…" He whispered, reaching out and laying his hand over his father's clenched ones. "I- I'm sorry for forgetting. I'm sorry for-" His voice broke then, the pain he and his father shared too overwhelming for words. The next thing he knew, his father had an arm awkwardly wrapped around his shoulders, hugging him as much as he could manage with Stiles stuck in the hospital bed.

Stiles hugged back; clinging to the only parent he had left in the world. "Dad. Did she die peacefully or in pain?" He finally managed to whisper, his eyes closed tightly.

Sheriff Stilinski hugged him harder. "Peacefully," he whispered back. "She died with you by her side. I'm sure you were a great comfort to her, Stiles." Finally he pulled back, wiping at the tears that had started to drip from his eyes in embarrassment. He smiled weakly and squeezed Stiles' hand in reassurance. "We can visit her grave later, all right? You can go alone to re-say your good byes. Or I could go. Or… Scott?" The teenager in question nodded his head. "Whatever you want, Stiles. We're all here for you. Me. Scott. Derek. All of your friends, I'm sure."

Scott felt like he should leave Stiles and his father to have their moment in peace, but he couldn't bear leaving Stiles alone. Guilt for not following Stiles out of the classroom and leaving everything up to Derek still plagued him and kept him from running away.

Stiles had finally managed to regain most of his composure though he still looked awful. His eyes were red and puffy, his nose congested, and his hair sticking up in odder angles than normal. He adjusted the cheap hospital gown he was wearing and nodded. "I… Yeah, I want to go see it. Her. As soon as they let me leave."

Sheriff Stilinski stood and nodded. "I will go ask the nurses when they think you'll be released, alright?" As he left the room, he clamped his hands on Scott's shoulder and looked at him with an expression of worry, concern, and a jumbled of other emotions. "Stay with him." Scott nodded in answer and moved to the chair next to the bed, not saying anything as Stiles stared silently up at the ceiling, lost in his own mind.

In the next hallway, Derek sat on the ground, his face buried into his knees with his hands tightly clenching his hair as if the pain of him tugging on that would distract him from the growing pain in his chest caused by listening to the conversation currently going on in Stiles' room. He wanted to run, to shift and let his wolf instinct to take over. But he had a stronger urge to run back to Stiles and comfort him. To tell him everything would be fine even if he wasn't sure it would be.

Finally after a few moments and Sheriff Stilinski had left on his errand, Derek managed to struggle to his feet, heading for the exit with burning eyes. It was safer for Stiles if the alpha never re-entered his life. He was fully committed to his plan to keep Stiles far away from the world of the pack even though he wasn't sure he could manage to stay sane without the annoying smart ass in his life.

Stiles sat up in his bed. His mind was still running over and over with the thought that his mother was dead. It felt like just yesterday to him that he was talking to his mother about the Jeep he wanted. He could remember it so clearly that it really did seem like yesterday. He could clearly remember her laugh, her smile, and the eyes that matched his. He was never going to be able to look in the mirror and be okay.

"Scott…?" Stiles spoke up and looked to his best friend. He needed his mind to quiet down. All he wanted to do was cry and scream. He felt like shit, a piece of shit son that couldn't remember his mother's death. He clutched his hands together and tried to relax.

"Yeah, Stiles?" Scott said, carefully saying each word. Not wanting to inflict more pain on his best friend.

"So I forgot my mom… and that guy, Derek? Whom else have I forgotten?" Stiles shifted a bit, really hoping there was no one else. He could not stand forgetting anyone else.

Scott thought about telling him about Isaac and Erica and all the others that they happened to come to know the past two years. But had Derek told him to keep Stiles out of it…and he was right, and he would do just that. "No one… Just them. Our lives haven't been that cool in high school so far, pretty damn boring… no love life. Nothing." He felt and about lying, but he knew he had to.

Stiles sighed a bit, though it still hurt that he had forgotten some people. That was not who he was. He remembered everyone. "So Derek isn't my boyfriend or something? Because he looks like he's blaming this on himself… I mean so are you and my dad. But It was me, you guys." Stiles breathed out at looked to the ceiling. "I mean, I was the one who was playing off like I was fine most likely. Probably pulled off a perfect smile too. You always seemed to fall for them in the past." He laughed sadly. "I drove sick; I did this to myself." He closed his eyes "It makes this… whole damn thing worse!" Stiles shouted "I'm sitting here with memory loss, and yeah, you guys are hurt over it… But you seem to care more on who's to blame."

Scott shook his head, "That's not it at all Stiles... I just feel like if I had gotten up and followed you-"Stiles cut him off by lifting his hand.

"Scott… Even if you had, I'm sure I would have done the same thing," Stiles sighed and scooted himself to lie down again.

"Sorry… And Derek is a friend. Not your boyfriend. You're not gay," Scott said, trying to make a joke.

"Yeah? Well I could be!" Stiles added and looked over to him with a smile.

"Yeah, I know," Scott smiled back at him.

"So where is he? That Derek guy?" Stiles asked and watched as Scott shrugged. "Well, he should come see me again… Maybe it will help. Since it seems he's the only one recent in my lost memories to help."

"Maybe… I'll call him for you, Stiles" Scott nodded and smiled at him. "Everything will be okay."

"Do you really believe that?" Stiles asked but he never heard the answer, as his drugs pulled him under again.


End file.
